Top Ten Things LOST Taught Me About Love

(Warning: Spoilers below! Don’t read if you haven’t seen all four seasons yet.)

The Lost writers must really hate love. Ever notice how they take every opportunity to destroy it?

10. All good relationships must end in death.


(Many photos courtesy of Lost-Media.com)

Except for Bernard and Rose, no one on the Island is allowed to be happy. Charlie & Claire? Death. Sayid & Shannon? Death. Jin & Sun? Death. It’s probably a good thing that Kate and Jack haven’t been working out so well. Next time you think about starting a relationship, consider the sad ending you’ll be forcing upon your loved one.

9. Don’t date doctors

Doctors have issues – serious ones. And none are more clearly seen than in Mr. “I want to lead everyone and whine the entire time” Jack. I mean, we saw the flash forwards. He and Kate had a great relationship until he decided to get all controlling. Real smart.

8. Christians are out of luck 😦

Out of all the characters on Lost, only one never found love. Not only did he never experience love in his past, but he didn’t find it on the Island either. After that he was out of luck because, well, he died. Who am I talking about? Mr. Eko of course.

Devout Christian, but never found a soulmate. Since I’m a Christian too, I guess that means no love for me. Sigh.

7. The Chupucabra of Love

What’s a chupucabra, you ask? It’s a vampire-like creature of Mexican mythology, just like Kate. Yes, on Lost, Kate is the vampire of love. She’s always bouncing back and forth between Jack and Sawyer. But let’s not forget the husband waiting back home, Mr. Super Handsome If Only I Could Meet Him Nathan Fillion. No girl gets that blessed. EVER. Thus, it can only be evil at work within her. Did you really think that Claire disappeared by accident? No. What Kate wants, Kate gets.

6. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Sad, but true. According to the Lost writers’ philosophy of life, doing good to others will end up getting you burned. Just take Jack. This guy actually saved a woman’s life and performed a miracle so she could walk again! Wow! Then they got married – hurray! And how did she repay him? Oh, by whining about how busy he was and having an affair. And then when Jack miraculously survived his plane crash, tries to jump from a bridge, and ends up in a hospital? Lovely Sarah says, “I can’t give you a ride home. It would be innapropriate.” Congratulations Sarah! You win!

5. Never accept invitations to a dinner party

Who could ever forget the moment Juliet walked into Ben’s house and saw the candle-filled table and a place setting for two? Ah, poor, naive Juliet, thinking the dinner invitation was all innocent. Ben told her that he was inviting a group. She actually fell for that line?

4. Some people are love-cursed

Certain people just don’t have any luck. The moment they find love, it’s ripped away from them by the gruesome hand of Death. It’s almost like Death is just hovering around them like a black cloud, waiting for them to finally feel happy for just a second, and then… Bang! It’s over.

Yep, that’s the story of our poor friend Sayid. Shannon, Nadia, that girl who conned him for Charles Widmore… It must really suck to be Sayid.

3. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Throughout Lost, we’ve seen Ben as that creepy, stalker guy who can’t hold a candle to Jack. Jack is tall, hot, smart, kind, compassionate… You know the drill. Meanwhile, Ben is this shorter dude who can’t get a date to save his life and has to kidnap a baby to have a child. But in the last scene of Season 4, all of that changes.

 

Jack made a bad decision on the Island and he has let it destroy his life. Now he’s a drunk, a drug addict, and seriously hygiene-impaired. He’s whining and crying at the funeral home when Ben shows up. Remember, Ben lost his daughter and is suffering far worse than Jack. But he has it all together, dressed in a spiffy black coat and looking super cool. What happened?

Just goes to show, you can’t tell what’s inside a person by looking at the surface.

2. Good guys really do finish last.

Sawyer’s always been the most handsome guy on Lost, but until this season, he was also the biggest jerk. Back in his con artist days, he got all the women. But then, something happened. All that time on the Island turned Sawyer into a good guy. Suddenly, he started genuinely caring about people: Hurley, Claire, Kate, Jack, Aaron… He went from zero to hero in one season. So what was his reward?

 Oh yea, that’s right. He got to sacrifice himself and let baby Jack win Kate. And now he’s stuck on the Island with creepy Miles.

1. Sometimes love really does conquer all… But chances are it won’t happen to you.

Ah, Desmond and Penny. Despite all the obstacles that came between them, including her greedy, controlling Daddy, they still found their way back to each other. Who could forget the sweet phone conversation seven years after Desmond promised to contact her or their amazing reunion on Penny’s boat? True love conquers all…one out of every 1,000,000 times.

Sure, Bernard and Rose experienced it too. But not Jack, Kate, Claire, Charlie, Eko, Ben, Juliet, Nikki, Paulo, Michael, Locke, Hurley, Ana Lucia, Libby… Get the point? True love really is out there and it really does happen. But chances are astronomical that it won’t happen to you. I guess Destiny really is a fickle…

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14 responses to “Top Ten Things LOST Taught Me About Love

  1. Ok first: TIME MACHINE: Jin may not be dead and Sun will run over Mr. Withmore (sp?) with her company control of AIK and find Jin and the Island with Ben and the gang as they all go back. The perfect Trifecta. Ben vs Withmore vs Sun (She’s got moxy)

    Jack is holding on to too much information no one else knows. Clare was his sister, Kate’s son is actually his nephew, etc, etc, he’s lost his mind.

    Eko would never have found love. Eko was a hermit in the ancient sense of the term. The religious man on the mountain, Zen-ing out. Love is too plain and common for him. He’s got bigger things to deal with than romance.

    Don’t dis Kate. She’s HOT 😉

    And don’t worry about Jack, he has to suffer. He will, by the end of the series have suffered and sacrificed everything to save everyone. It is his destiny. Probably why his last name is Shepperd. He’s gonna die in the final moments of the story, like a Christ like figure to save everyone. I mean come on his dad’s name is Christian Shepperd.

  2. I’m really really hoping that Jin isn’t dead! I still think Jack’s a wimp though. 😛 But very interesting theory about Jack!

  3. I cant believe you didnt post about the DONT ADD METAL to the microwave or the crazy aztec style room covered in ice.. I mean what the hell is that doign there?

    Now that loche(spelling?) has an army willing to do whatever his crazy ass needs them to do.. I have a feeling the people still on the island are going to be in for some real shinanigans… Oh my god such a long wait until the next season. SOMONE MAKE ME A TIN FOIL HAT SO I CAN SIT IN THE TIME MACHINE I CANT WAIT.

  4. Great post! I’d never really thought about the love situation like that. It really does seem that Des&Pen are the only ones who’ve found love.

    I’m still waiting for Libby to come back for Hurley 😉

  5. Alright, well I thought by reading this post that I would be able to get some sense, some insight of what the show was about. WRONG! I’m so confused…. even more so than before. Ha! Ha! guess season one here I come. Now where’s the popcorn?

  6. Desmond and Penny have love now but remember Ben said he was going to find her and kill her because Withmore broke the rules and killed his daughter. Their love may not last too long either!

  7. Hey Amy! Ya, I did the captioning. Glad you like them! 🙂

    Adam – I want Jin to live! But not Patchy. Hmm… How can both happen?

    Kraze – thanks! The part about adding metal to the vault was hilarious.

    Emzi – I miss Libby. There was so much potential to her character.

    Scottie – lol

    Kara – You’re absolutely right about Penny! I forgot all about that. The joy won’t last forever, lol.

  8. Hee! I love this post. Is is wrong for me to cling to hope that Jin is still alive? I didnt actually SEE him explode so I live in hope…

  9. Great post once again. Loved what you wrote about Sawyer (or maybe I just love Sawyer). Maybe he’ll get lucky with Juliet. Or he could still wind up with Kate if/when she goes back to the island. So the hero can still get the girl. Its funny, he was so sexy as the bad boy, but he’s even sexier as the bad boy turned hero.

  10. OOOh, i missed this post somehow. Damn it. On a side note, I’ve never visited digg. I’m blog stupid I guess ….

  11. Hey Kate! Nothing wrong with hoping Jin is alive. I hope that too!

    Jennifer – thanks! I’m kind of hoping Sawyer and Juliet get together too. I’m definitely a huge Sawyer fan. 🙂

    Girl – You’re not blog stupid, you’re actually blog smart. Digg’s not that great. 🙂

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